Friday, August 17, 2007

not appropriate nose jobs


just as i was thinking of posting about this VERY TOPIC, along comes a Newsweek story about MALE NOSE JOBS.

if there's a global epicenter of this horrifying phenomenon, it may very well be the Westwood branch of L.A. Fitness. look, there's already something nastily imasculating about the vanity of the gym, but guys with totally obvious nose jobs pumping iron make me want to curl up under the bench press and hurl.*

i consider myself something of a minor nose job expert because a) i'm from los angeles, b) i went to a hoity toity private high school where nose jobs for christmas were de rigeur** and c) i grew up in westwood, where the persian population is a particularly enthusiastic supporter of the rhinoplasty business. ***

which is all to say, when i see a nose job on a guy in the Westwood L.A. Fitness, i know what i'm looking at.

just last week, i met two extremely nice persian guys at the gym who showed me how to use some machines that i'd never used before. one of them was an obvious inappropriate nose job victim. i really felt for him, ya know, because he looked prette good otherwise, pumping weights and all, but the nose job was just...oy vey. it was the kind referenced in the Newsweek piece -- an overly feminine, pointy, upturned job of a nose.


but ya know what, i gotta give respect the INSANE GUY who agreed to BE THE SUBJECT of the newsweek piece about male nose job reversals. perhaps because of his brave public broaching of the issue, the botched male nose job population of westwood will feel that they, too, can demand the nose that they want and deserve. and then perhaps i will be able to work out in peace, without having to ponder the sorry spectacle of not appropriate male nose jobs.

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* i'd like to point out for the record that girls with obvious nose jobs working out are pretty bad, as well...but guys are worse.

** i have to give my hoity toity high school credit for cleverly mocking its student population -- in my senior year, the annual spoof newspaper (it turns from The Harvard-Westlake Chronicle to The Harvard-Westlake Chronic) graded that year's nose jobs on an A to F scale. at least one person went home in tears the day it came out.

*** no, i'm not the only one who's picked up on this trend.

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