technology: the wave of the future

perhaps you've never had the pleasure of reading my brilliant ruminations on technology -- and i don't mean the paranoid bradbury/orwell/huxley predictions. i mean totally FUTURISTIC TECHNOLOGY that will save us all. well i've got a new one, and it's good.

so global warming is destroying the world. the temperature's getting too high (can anyone in New York deny the bizarre warmness this winter season?), the cold climate animals are being forced from their habitats, glaciers are melting, the level of the oceans is rising, even more severe weather than we've seen in the past few years is on its way -- and that's not even getting into peripherally related apocalyptic problems connected with global warming, like the waning of oil reserves and -- even further away -- the horrible political messes we're in due in part to fuel. but i digress.

what i'm talking about here is saving the planet on the most immediate physical level by reducing global warming. and how will we accomplish that? why, by keeping the north and south poles cold, of course! and how will we do that? with a COLD GENERATOR, of course, which is essentially a big freezer. now hang on a minute, you might be thinking. if we have a cold power generator on the planet to bring coldness to the poles, that power generator will contribute to the earth's warming as much, if not more, than our current warming does. well that's why we're going to put the cold generator ON THE MOON.

since the same side of the moon always faces the earth (good moon info here) this might be able to work. but since i'm not a technologist, i'm not 100% sure (only like 99%). other options for the cold generator could be to just put it in space within earth's orbit, or have it be a satellite rotating around the moon to keep the lines to the poles in place and untangled. i quote john lennon: you may say i'm a dreamer, but i'm not the only one. you know what would have happened if they told albert einstein not to dream? we wouldn't have the theory of relativity, that's what.

so the cold generator would reduce global warming, which seems like it would be an unequivocally good thing. but the other problems i mentioned above, like the waning of the oil reserves (and the imminent apocalypse associated with that) and the nightmarish political messes we're in (and the imminent apocalypse associated with that) will not be solved at all if our planet is kept relatively healthy. in fact all a healthy planet would provide is a ground on which those problems can continue to play themselves out. gross. maybe all of the horribleness is meant to happen at once. maybe the apocalypse is one big apocalypse where everything collapses together. could be...